Annette (2021)

ANNETTE (2021)

Dir: Leos Carax

Are we so bankrupt in entertainment, that a musical desperate to be a tragedy feels as though it must force cliches through a student experimental film aesthetic? Nothing in this film is as good as its intro and outro. As we plug in with the Sparks brothers and follow them outside with the cast we are rejuvenated. We are about to see something we’ve never seen before. We’re going to see a spectacle. Then nothing happens for two hours and ten minutes until we see the cast again behind the running end credits. They tell us goodbye. They’re having a jovial time as they leave this film. So are we.

If you want to make an opera musical, then do it. If you want to make a surrealist film, then do it. Don’t take the elements that don’t work from each thing you want to make and cobble something together out of it. Disclosure: I am a fan of musicals, normally any musical. I have even seen Cats (2020) twice. Not a fact that I am proud of, but it relates because it was hard to watch Annette once. Disclosure: This cast is phenomenal, just not in this film. Who doesn’t love Adam Driver and Marion Cotillard? And I actively watched Big Bang Theory for eight seasons, so I also have love for Simon Helberg. Disclosure: Leos Carax is a brilliant filmmaker. Holy Motors (2012) is a revelation in cinema. Had Annette had an ounce of the energy contained in a single minute of Holy Motors, there’d be nothing but praise.

The story. Turn back now if you actually care. Also, avert your eyes if there’s a chance that reading a full spoiler summary might make you want to watch this. Okay, here it goes. Comedian and opera singer wed, give birth to a wooden puppet, wife becomes successful, comedian becomes a loser, they try to mend the relationship but the wife dies, wife's voice gets trapped into their daughter, the comedian is financially wrecked so he hires his wife's former accompanist to help baby Annette's career as a miracle baby, miracle baby goes on tour, daddy is tortured by hearing his dead wife's voice coming out of his daughter, he gets more drunk, he eventually kills, Annette witnesses the murder, instead of one last show she tells the world her dad kills people, daddy goes to jail, he finally sees his child as a person and not a puppet, and he'll be alone forever. The bone-chilling metaphor of a child as a puppet, oh no, that’s that student film aesthetic I was mentioning earlier.

Be nice. Alright, there is a scene of Marion Cotillard singing while receiving cunnilingus. And to mention the sets and cinematography were impressive, not all the time, but most of the time. The award for creepiest baby ever captured on film goes to Baby Annette. You never get used to it, and that’s saying a lot considering the film is nearly two and a half hours long. Have I already mentioned the film’s length? Oh, I’m sorry. Another interesting tidbit came up in the end credits. I haven’t enjoyed end credits this much in a long time. Adam Driver personally wished to thank Chris Rock and Bill Burr. I’m assuming this meant that the terrible comedy skits he did, he based his style of delivery on Rock and Burr. The more you know, right?