'I Saw the TV Glow' and through the fuzz, 

all was made clear

While reading reviews of I Saw The TV Glow, there are a few glaring omissions that made me question if I had seen the same film as other reviewers. The first item that goes unnoticed is that the Pink Opaque is an obvious stand-in for Buffy The Vampire Slayer. So much so, a character in the show is named Tara and we get a cameo in Schoenbrun's film of Tara herself (Amber Benson). Each season of Buffy has a big bad and during a montage moment, our leads Owen (Justice Smith) and Maddy (Brigette Lundy-Paine) discuss plotlines in the same fashion as Buffy episodes are discussed. While the question asked most by critics describing the film is fare, "What happens when TV fandom goes too far?" It does nothing to celebrate the fact that most marginalized individuals turn to shows for representation that they cannot find in real life.

Owen and Maddy are outcasts and feel out of touch with the world around them. Maddy is a self-described lesbian while Owen doesn't feel he is in the correct body and sexuality/sexual feelings disturb him. Normally, a review would provide multiple plot points to see if a potential audience member would be interested in the film. Our lead characters are outcasts who find solace in a TV show and an unusual friendship develops between the two. And the film trailer tells you that at some point, Maddy will go missing. These are the base layers of the filmmaker's painting. Our main plot point occurs when The Pink Opaque is suddenly canceled, and it leaves Owen and Maddy to question fiction versus reality.

The show within the film has consumed these two outcasts. Maddy more than Owen believes the show is more than television. And to anyone struggling with their own identity, television and film can aid in finding representation. Which makes you feel finally seen, and if the piece of media can do that, then maybe you are not alone. Willow and Tara's relationship in Buffy provided a positive view of lesbian relationships in the late 1990's. Luckily, media has continued to provide more well-rounded portrayals of marginalized individuals and Schoenbrun utilizes this new freedom to create Owen as a trans character.

Other critics have remarked on the stilted or deadpan emotional responses of Justice Smith and Brigette Lundy-Paine during their line deliveries or stated how these actors have missed their mark in the film. Some have reacted negatively to Owen's breaking of the fourth wall to deliver exposition. This creates a jarring effect; however, it adds to the overall layer that begins to create a mystery for the audience. The last quarter of the film is described as time moving fast for Owen while we watch his repetitious life play out. One in which he has no agency over any of the events happening to him or around him. He is a living zombie. And when we see him deliver exposition, we begin to wonder if Owen is mentally ill, too afraid to be the person they should have always been, or if this is his long and meandering death dream.

Another complaint I've read is about Maddy and Owen's lack of chemistry. These complaints only add to the film's disconnecting effect. The film will ask you multiple times to wonder what is real and what is fantasy? Having our lead actors deliver lines in an unemotional way provides more fodder for their reality being only an illusion. Fully formed people don't communicate with each other this way! I, too, could be off the mark but it felt satisfying to see these two never fully engage with one another. Only through the exchange of VHS's of recorded episodes of The Pink Opaque does either character come to life.

I Saw The TV Glow concludes in dread, a panic attack, and admitting to oneself they can never be who they are meant to be. One requires agency. One requires a voice to speak out. One requires support from friends. Without this, we shrivel. We systematically shut down until we no longer even care to breathe. Jane Schoenbrun has stated, "I like a movie that you have to wrestle with." And we do wrestle. While I Saw The TV Glow is a trans story, as cis-hetero I still felt my own journey on screen. There's a universal message at the heart of the story about the inevitability of living a life not as your authentic self; and how the agonizing shrinking will continue to plague you until you do something drastic to change or allow it to devour you.

Allow the film to devour you, not the existential dread that accompanies it. Or if that's what you need, great. Maybe this is the representation you've been struggling to find. If that's the case, I hope you find the courage to be yourself.