Teen Wolf (1985)

TEEN WOLF (1985)

Dir: Rod Daniel

We have it marked in our shared calendar. I don’t know why, but we do. August 23, 1985 the day Teen Wolf was released. I believe it started as a joke. We saw it come up on one of our news feeds and said, “Sure, let’s watch Teen Wolf.” That was five years ago. And now it’s tradition. And like they say on Letterkenny, “You don’t f*ck with tradition.”

The three main characters in the film are fantastic. At first you want to say that Scott Howard (Michael J. Fox) is a school wimp turned cool wolf, but Scott was never uncool. Scott’s on the basketball team. He has his own clique of friends. He’s nice to everyone. There’s nothing categorically wrong with Scott. Sure, maybe he pines after the blonde who prefers twenty-year-old seniors from other high schools. And it gives him a complex about himself. But, aside from a lack of confidence, Scott’s a cool dude.

His friend Stiles (Jerry Levine) is off-the-charts dreamy. Aside from his problematic and uninformed stance on homosexuals or his cringe-inducing attempts at an 80’s blaccent when speaking with Beacon Town High’s one of maybe four black students, Stiles has bravado. The ignorant aspects of Stiles’ personality seem easily fixed as he is malleable in every sense. Had Scott came out as gay instead of a werewolf, I have no doubt that Stiles would have made T-shirts for his gay best friend. I’m not advocating for Stiles’ innocence here, but some people are just f*cking stupid. They need, as the wife says, some sense beaten’ into them. But that confidence Stiles has is dreamy indeed.

Lisa “Boof” Marconi (Susan Ursitti) still has the worst nickname ever on film. There is no explanation anywhere on how she was given the nickname BOOF. But luckily/unluckily for us we were given the sh*tshow of the slimy rapist Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation hearings which went into a diatribe on the word Boof as it appeared in one of Brett’s yearbooks. From here we were given two parallel definitions to the word. Boof as Kavanaugh would describe was a common phrase for farting; however, the yearbook asked the question, “Have you boofed yet?” This then leads back to an early 80’s etymology of the word and in this context it’s parlance would be more equivocal to the reference to anal sex. So, thanks Kavanaugh hearing, now I’m wondering if the true love interest of Teen Wolf is Fart or Anal Sex? Either way, Boof has more style, understanding, history, and coolness than Pam the blonde. Boof could probably do way better than Scott.

Anyway, lets talk about werewolves. The myth of the lycanthrope is normally derived from the inability to control one’s Id. Or that’s just something I read once, but lets stick with it. The Id is some Freud territory, Ego, Superego, and Id. We can just as easily use Jung’s Shadow to describe the wolf characteristics or any number of loss of self, pop psychology terms. Literature and film have always used the wolf to bring out the literal animal inside us. To set aside the millions of years of evolution and get to that primordial – survival – self. When we become the beast, all that was human is gone in service to instinct. What does Scott do as a werewolf? He plays basketball. But if we continue this path we see he gives up aspects of his humanity in service to his confidence/instincts. Scott never veers too far off from his good-guy self. I mean if tearing Mick-the-prick’s tie and shirt at the ‘big dance’ is the loss of Scott’s humanity, may we all be so inhumane. The werewolf can either learn to live with it like Scott or Oz from Buffy, give into the beast entirely like Nicholson and Spader in Wolf (1994), or die as every other werewolf. It always depends on the underpinning morality being displayed in the fiction. These stories tell us those instincts are never done with us. We can manage them or let them control us and see our consequences.

My favorite part of Teen Wolf? I’m so glad you asked that question. That has to be at the end. Scott’s won the big game, snubbed Pam, kissed Boof, gets the applause of his father, and then we get to see the guy behind Scott’s dad stand up. This random extra stands up and not only is his fly down, but his pants are unbuttoned, and you see his Tighty Whities. He notices, fumbles his coat to block his groin, and attempts to nonchalantly zip up. The film actually ends with a freeze frame the moment after he’s fully zipped. F*cking classic.