Blades (1989)

BLADES (1989)

Dir: Thomas R. Rondinella

At first, Blades, appears to be the worst Jaws (1975) rip-off ever. I understand it’s not supposed to be taken seriously, but everyone involved is fully dedicated to the material. Their dedication makes it difficult to see the film as a satire. The advertising utilizes the tagline: “Just when you thought it was safe to putt!” But, it actually takes a little while to catch on that this is a feature length rip-off. When the gulf coarse owner becomes worried about bad publicity after murdered bodies are found, we are in non-stop Jaws world. I thought it was merely a reference at the beginning when we see lawn mower POV and a John Williams-esque score, but I was sorely wrong.

This may be where the stupidity of a film hides the truth of the film’s brilliance. When you know that you’ve fully boarded the Jaws train, each moment thereafter is an act of magic. How are they going to keep the Jaws plot when Brody, Quint, and Hooper take the Orca out after the shark? How are they going to show the chaos of the shark manhunt on a golf course? This is where you become mesmerized. You are witnessing a small miracle. Somewhere in the middle of the film, they catch the mower that’s been killing people, but our star believes it had to be a mower with a blade radius twice its size. The only way to know for sure is to cut open the bag attachment. If there’s only clippings, then the real killer mower is still out there. A victim’s wife slaps our star because he knew there was a mower out there on the course killing people but no one warned her husband. When each beat of the Jaws story is met, again and again, you wait for the USS Indianapolis speech and the grizzly death of our Quint. And our lawnmower doesn’t disappoint.

Yes, at first when everyone takes the film too seriously, it’s upsetting. But, by the end of this farce, it was the actor’s dedication that ensured it didn’t slip into slapstick, that made it a rewarding watch.